you.

You asked me today whether I would miss you if you left, I wanted so much to say yes. But I don't want to be selfish, I want you to be happy and live your life with no regrets. Even if that means I will regret my decision for the rest of my life.

I've grown accustomed to your presence. To hear that you want to move overseas, feels like I'm being cut with a knife over and over again yet I have to continue smiling for you. We spend so much time together, we talk online every day, we talk on the phone most nights, and I find every excuse I can to see you, but I don't think you get my hints.

You always tell me how you meet someone new, ask me what you should do, I tell you to go for it, go with your heart and go for the girl you like, and I wish so much that I was the one, but you tell me you haven't found the one that you share a spark with.

You've become part of my routine, without you I feel like there's a crucial piece of me missing, I wait until you come online every day, every night I'm watching the clock, and constantly checking my phone to see if you call. I don't know how I will move on if you move away, or of I will ever have to ability to move on by myself.

You always give me hope to carry on, to wait for you, you react, I respond. But I want a different response from you. I want that response from you.

I'm so tired of waiting for you now...I don't know how much longer I will be able to withstand this pain, seeing you searching for your spark, when I'm here right next to you. Please give me a response, the one I'm looking for. You've opened the window to my heart and stepped in, without you, it will leave a hole and bleed.

幾多溫柔葬深海 幾多心血難復再
　沒有天賜愛但仍信愛 地塌天崩不悔改
　忘記心魔平復障礙 天窗總會為你開
　多少死去再活來痛愛 讓渺小肩膊負載
...

tired of this =(

I feel so tired for being the one that always has to do everything. No one understands the way I feel, no one knows the things I have to do.
It may sound childish, but why did I have to be the eldest child? Always being asked to do this, to do that, read letters, fill out forms, print this, write that.

I don't know how much longer I can take, theres so much stress but no one sees it, because I have to pretend like nothing's wrong, and try to make others happy.
I'm happy that I can make people feel happy, but what about me? Who is here to make me happy when I need it?

My parents always tell me to do things because I know how to do it, and I try to do my best, even if I'm not fast but it seems as though what I do is never good enough for them, like I should do things right now and get them done asap right after they tell me. They don't understand that I have uni, extra curricular activities, hw, assignments and work for them, and I need a life, which I don't at the moment.

They question why I don't have a boyfriend, maybe the fact that I travel 2.5 hours home to work on weekends is one reason...

I'm just so tired, I'm tired of waiting for you, I thought you would be over her, but it seems as though you aren't, I can feel it...
I wish soo hard that you could one day read my thoughts, even if it were just the one single thought, but you're so oblivious.

Buying souvenirs for people...

So is buying souvenirs for people an act of kindness or has it become a requirement when going on holidays these days?
It's one of those things that begins to bug me. So I'm on holidays and I would love to buy presents for others because I genuinely WANT to, but since you asked, I feel like what the hell dude? all you care is about what you can get? selfish much??

You see a friend go on a vacation, and you see some people telling them to enjoy their holiday and make the most of it, and some other people that don't even bother to ask and just say, can you get me this? have you bought me that? did you remember my shopping list? blah blah blah.

I just think it is rude. To those that demand things, please shut up for a minute and be considerate of your friend! If you are a real friend, you'd be happy for them to have a wonderful time and come back with exciting stories to tell you.
And for the poor vacationers out there racking your brains spending half your holiday and money on buying things for others, be good to yourself for once and enjoy your holiday, after all, it is a time for yourself, not for others. You are definitely not a butler with a shopping list going out to buy stuff for everyone.

So, all I can say is enjoy your holiday and be happy =] Real friends care about you, not your gifts.

over and out,

MD
xoxo

Made in Dagenham

Tonight, I was lucky enough to receive complimentary tickets to an advanced screening of Made in Dagenham. A UK based movie set in 1968, it was a movie like none I'd ever seen before. the story revolves around a group of ladies working in Ford's factories in Dagenham and stand up fighting for rights and equal pay.
The movie was such an inspirational movie and it brought tears and smiles to me and definitely one I enjoyed very much. The movie was not only entertaining but seemed to have a moral. It inspired and empowered me, it gave me strength and led me to believe that I can fight for what I believe in.
I highly recommend this movie to young and old. I assure you will get something very special out of this movie, and you will enjoy it too.

More information available here http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1371155/

without you....

Everytime I hear your voice, you make me miss you more, you say something to me but don't stay to talk. now I'm hanging here by a thread. It feels as though this is all we can be, separated by a piece of thread, so close, yet so far.

I don't know what you're really thinking, you ask if I miss you, of course I do, but its so hard for me to say, because I'm so scared that you will know how I feel, but if I don't say it, what am I going to do?

It's like our timing is always out of sync, I wait for you but you don't appear, and when you do, I'm nowhere near. I feel tired now...

I don't know how much longer I can wait, I'm counting down the days that I'll be able to see you again.

Without you, even spending each day seems as if something important is missing, I feel like I can't breath...

MD

I miss having you all to myself...

never say goodbye...

I don't like to say goodbyes, its as if the words mean that we will never see each other again, and it hurts me to even have a tinsy bit of that idea in my mind.
If you could do one thing for me, I'd request that you never say goodbye, because I want to see you again, I need to see you again.
I want to be the one to say it first, I can't bare to see you turn your back and walk away...

sleepless nights all because of you. i wait. you don't appear, i finally sleep, you appear.