She'd been thinking, not brave enough to put this into words and tell anyone, but it comes to a time where there's just too much bottled inside of her. The other night when she had dropped something off to his brother, she vaguely saw him standing there looking at her from afar. He didn't wave or say hi. There was a part of her that questioned, was he jealous that she didn't stay to see him?
What a fool...
He had sent her an sms later that night saying that he had something to tell her. For a moment that seemed like the flowers were going to suddenly bloom in her garden, her hear stopped. She was a fool to think that he was going to tell her that she liked her or something. For that whole day, she wished, she hoped, she wanted more than anything for her instincts to be correct for once...but these good things never happened to her.
Step back into reality and wake up!
She could no longer wait, as soon as she had arrived home from work that evening, she called him, even though it didn't connect. He called her back soon after she had sent him an sms, her heart raced at 1000 miles per second, expecting that he would say what she had wanted to hear so so much, but it was just a story that he wanted to share...
She smiled for him, but inside...her heart sank...
She sits down to write a note in her diary while talking to him on msn, with various thoughts running through her mind. She thinks,
If I were to disappear one day, If I were to silently step out of your life, would you miss me? Or would you move on?
They'd become her addiction...without them, She missed him. But with them, the more they talk, the more false hope she got. She knew so clearly, that he had feelings for someone else, but she couldnt help it. It hurt her more than she could put into words, when he told her the answer when he confessed to the girl.
The girl's words cut her like a knife, as much as it hurt for him. She disagreed with the girls' actions, her selfishness and her leading him into a dead end.
There was so much of her that wished to cure his pain, but all she could do was stand beside him, hoping that he would one day forget about the girl and realise HER existence.
I don't think I'll ever have the courage to tell you...
Perhaps one day you'll realise I'm here, waiting for you...
"Stop searching forever, happiness is right next to you."
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